Clear Horizons
by T Spoon
Summary: Peter and Carter discuss the events that occured during "May Day"


Clear Horizons   
An "ER" Vignette  
  
  
  
" When you're standing at the cross roads,   
Don't know which path to choose,  
Let me come along,  
Cause even if you're wrong  
I'll stand by you."   
- The Pretenders  
  
My body is aching and my mind has gone blank. Constant pains flow rapidly through my veins and I'm the equivalent to being dead even though I'm alive and wide-awake.  
Peter Benton confidently sits next to me. I bet he is the only person in the entire world that could possibly be more disappointed in me then I am in myself. I want to say something to him but can't find the nerve to. The ride so far has been silent except for when he uttered a harsh "here" while handing me my curled-up plane ticket. I slowly open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out.  
"Peter…" I finally force out. He looks at me with every bit of pride and integrity that you could possibly have for a lowlife such as me. "Thank you." I softly say.  
This comment obviously surprises him immensely considering it was only about an hour ago that I literally broke his nose.  
"Well Carter…" he beings in his usual confident manner.  
"You're a good doctor and I wouldn't want to see anything worse happen to you."  
He brought his hand up from the arm of the chair and patted me gently on the shoulder.  
"Thank you." I reply solemnly, not expecting to hear much more out of him for the remained of the flight. After a moment of silence I finally hear a deep "Carter?" I reply with my usual unenthustic "Yea?".  
"You know that I've always thought highly of you…"  
I lower my eyes to the floor of the airplane as he continues to converse on.  
"…Where ever Lucy is she'd be proud of you for going through with this."  
  
I finally turn my focus from the lower half of the seat in front of me to the clear Illinois night horizon outside my small oval window. The stars are brightly glistening and feel like I have conquered the entire city of Chicago below me, from up here.   
"Peter?" I finally find the courage to speak directly to his face.   
"Yes?" He seems concerned with the way I addressed him.  
"What would Lucy say if she knew I am a drug addict?"  
I watch his eyes fall directly to the floor.   
"Would she be here with me like you are?"  
I waited a moment while he collected his thoughts.  
"She is right here with you Carter and her spirit will never leave you."  
I squeeze my eyes tightly together to hold back tears but one lonely drop manages to swiftly escape as I wipe it away with my sleeve. I finally catch my composure and turn around to make eye contact with him.  
"Thank you Peter…thank you."   
As the plane makes its final decent way beyond the gallows of Chicago, I take one final peek out into the never-ending skyline. But why is it that this time the stars seem much brighter then ever before?   
  
*****  
  
The poor guy has been through a lot. With the recent death of Lucy and being close to his own demise, I should have seen this coming. But I guess that I just don't expect this out of a former medical student of mine.   
From where I am seated I can't tell whether he is sleeping or just lost in a deep stare. I'm so disappointed in myself for allowing him to even get this far; I should have been there more for him when he was being hospitalized. But what am I thinking? I am the one who wouldn't talk to him on the way to the airport. The only word I solemnly uttered was a brusque "here!" to hand him the crumbled up plane ticket that had been in my pocket for so long.   
I watch him again, this time he notices me and says "Thank you". Thank you for what Carter, I want to say but don't.   
Well, since he said something I may as well enlighten him with some inspirational words.   
"You're a good doctor, I wouldn't want to see anything worse happen to you!"   
He finally removes his head from the side of the plane as I pat him lightly on the shoulder.  
"Thank you." He repeats.   
Ugh, I can't keep him quiet anymore. I finally take up the courage and scowl "Carter!"   
"Yea?"  
I stop myself and think for a good moment. Why am I being so illiberal to him anyway?   
"You know what Carter, I've always thought highly of you!"   
That should make up for everything I haven't said contrary to the fact that he almost left me with a broken nose earlier this evening. I continue to talk to him trying to ease his severe emotional distress.  
"…Where ever Lucy is, I know that she'd be proud of you for going through with this," I finally admit to him. Perhaps the thought of the late medical student would bring his hopes up and make him want to continue on the path of rehabilitation.  
"Peter?" He asks like a young child would. "What would Lucy say if she knew I was a drug addict?" My eyes fall to the floor. I can't answer this honestly… "Would she be here with me like you are?" I nod my head and think of something poignant to say.  
"She is here with you Carter and her spirit will never leave you."  
He uncomfortably squirms around in the chair, obviously trying to keep his emotions under control. Finally, he leans back up against the window as we make our final descent into the suburbs.   
He takes one last good look over the clear midnight sky. As I look glance out simultaneously with him, I notice that perhaps the stars are shining much brighter then ever before.   
  
~ I'm done. Go Home!   
  
Disclaimer: You know the drill…. Peter Benton and John Carter belong to ER and ER doesn't belong to me… yadda yadda yadda…  
  
Feedback is Vital: EvitaRox@aol.com   
  



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